[ help. hanako gets a little nod of the head and temenos makes a gesture for him to come closer, a smile on his face. it's not even a scary smile this time, just his usual relaxed one. ]
Come here, my wayward lamb. I've something for you. No strings attached.
[ you have to tell me if he gets close enough for emotions okay ]
[ Temenos can feel Hanako's emotions from miles away. It's guilt, predominantly, but also fear and anxiety and restlessness and anger. slight surprise when Temenos calls out to him, wariness, and he's a little bit pleased despite all of that ]
a third mika card, and slides it across the table he's sitting at, lifting his hands out of the way so hanako can just take it. ]
For you.
[ and if he comes close enough, temenos looks a little bit tense, but more so like he's trying very hard to not be a spooked cat about his own emotions. mostly because he is calm and placid outwardly, giving off that angelic, holy smile! but emotionally - underneath that, there's a sense of immediate concern and worry, first, followed by genuine care, then a warm fondness. they're all big, messy, vibrant emotions for someone who never wears a single thing on his face besides his smile.
this is immediately followed by just the slightest sense of embarrassment (the catholic shame emotion of having emotions) and then an attempt to try and smother all of that into something calm and placid that doesn't work at all
emotionshare is hell this is the mortifying ordeal of being known ]
[ it's so stupid because until hanako realizes why, he's just going to think that seeing Temenos and feeling such care and fondness is just his own feelings for the man, that desperate need to please and make proud and be loved that he can't be because he's just really
Really
Really fucking guilty all the time. ]
Is it alright...?
[ He stares at the card, but doesn't move to take it either way. A Mika for each of his murder confessions...
... ]
... You asked me before if I felt if I deserved this burden... If I'm doing this to myself. [ his being what he is ] I do.
Temenos... I killed my little brother. And then I took my own life. That's why I'm like this, and why I can't be anything different.
he'll absorb all those emotions easily - the guilt, even, is almost expected, though not at the weight that it comes. he tamps on his own the best that he can, and the first thing that reads out of temenos's emotions is surprise, a brief flicker before it melts away. it shifts to understanding, at first. something empathetic, wrapped in a hint of sorrow, familiarity in something that feels like grief.
he's quiet for a moment, and then, slowly, his brows knit together, mouth pulling downwards into a little frown. ]
[ It takes so much just to say that little. It hurts, and the feeling is still raw even though the memory is decades old, and he shuts up then, pressing his lips together and shaking his head.
Don't ask him. Please. Don't make him relive that again. I don't have the canon lore for it yet. ]
temenos decides not to press any further definitely because he is a good person absolutely. his emotions flicker again - that soft feeling of grief, and something that's more like.. it's like empathy, because that hurt, that raw feeling is unbelievably familiar. how hard it is, to talk about something so, so painful, something you grieve - how five years later, talking about roi still feels like an impossible mountain for temenos to climb. there was no fratricide, but sometimes he wonders if he could have stopped him, too.
he moves his hand off of the mika card, and just holds out it outwards towards hanako. welcoming. ]
...My wayward lamb.
[ his voice quiets a little, and he makes a small gesture. come a little closer. ]
[ the apprehension steeply mounts, like he can't decide whether Temenos is about to slap him or hug him, but there's still that little naive hope that ebbs away at TRUST NOBODY and he steps up close to await judgement ]
[ that feeling of naivete is so heartbreakingly familiar, no matter how tiny it is, because gods, but he's felt it. temenos taught himself to be a cynic: he taught himself his realism painstakingly to protect someone else, and that exact same instinct was his. he remembers being hanako's size, remembers being a meek adherent, a crybaby who clung to his brother's robes. he started to become the way he is now not much older than he was when he died.
his emotions are as calm as a placid lake as he comes closer, and he reaches out...
... and his hand falls on his head. gentle. right on top of his little head, a pat, and then a ruffle. if he's wearing his hat it's just right over his hat. the gesture is gentle, and he leans down, moving from where he's sitting to drop down and meet his eyes. ]
I am sure you know by now that no one can offer you forgiveness for such things, besides yourself. But at the same time, I wonder if living in eternal misery is what someone would want for you.
[ he doesn't specify someone, but it's there. hanako can fill in that blank. his brother. nimona. datz. mouse, ryuki, the people who love him and care for him no matter what.
death is the easy way out, in a normal place. but hanako clearly is facing that punishment, bit by eternal bit. but there are clearly people who care and love for him no matter what he's done, even if it's a lot of murderhands crimes here in oceanside city. who knows, if maybe that brother would feel any different. ]
[ The walls crumble a little at the head pat, the smallest touch finding a crack and bringing it all tumbling down.
It's his brother who he has in mind as that "someone," his precious baby brother who is his greatest love as well as his greatest regret. Sometimes it feels like his brother does all he can to make Hanako miserable; other times he's met with a tight hug, an affectionate nuzzle, the comforting knowledge that despite everything, he's still here.
His friends, his teacher, his teammates, they'd want him to be happy. He knows this. But how can he, when he destroyed the very thing that brought him happiness with his own hands. ]
I don't... [ think? no, he knows. ] I won't ever forgive myself for what I did.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Come here, my wayward lamb. I've something for you. No strings attached.
[ you have to tell me if he gets close enough for emotions okay ]
no subject
Another gift? What is it?
no subject
a third mika card, and slides it across the table he's sitting at, lifting his hands out of the way so hanako can just take it. ]
For you.
[ and if he comes close enough, temenos looks a little bit tense, but more so like he's trying very hard to not be a spooked cat about his own emotions. mostly because he is calm and placid outwardly, giving off that angelic, holy smile! but emotionally - underneath that, there's a sense of immediate concern and worry, first, followed by genuine care, then a warm fondness. they're all big, messy, vibrant emotions for someone who never wears a single thing on his face besides his smile.
this is immediately followed by just the slightest sense of embarrassment (the catholic shame emotion of having emotions) and then an attempt to try and smother all of that into something calm and placid that doesn't work at all
emotionshare is hell this is the mortifying ordeal of being known ]
no subject
Really
Really fucking guilty all the time. ]
Is it alright...?
[ He stares at the card, but doesn't move to take it either way. A Mika for each of his murder confessions...
... ]
... You asked me before if I felt if I deserved this burden... If I'm doing this to myself. [ his being what he is ] I do.
Temenos... I killed my little brother. And then I took my own life. That's why I'm like this, and why I can't be anything different.
no subject
he'll absorb all those emotions easily - the guilt, even, is almost expected, though not at the weight that it comes. he tamps on his own the best that he can, and the first thing that reads out of temenos's emotions is surprise, a brief flicker before it melts away. it shifts to understanding, at first. something empathetic, wrapped in a hint of sorrow, familiarity in something that feels like grief.
he's quiet for a moment, and then, slowly, his brows knit together, mouth pulling downwards into a little frown. ]
... What happened?
no subject
[ It takes so much just to say that little. It hurts, and the feeling is still raw even though the memory is decades old, and he shuts up then, pressing his lips together and shaking his head.
Don't ask him. Please. Don't make him relive that again. I don't have the canon lore for it yet. ]
no subject
temenos decides not to press any further definitely because he is a good person absolutely. his emotions flicker again - that soft feeling of grief, and something that's more like.. it's like empathy, because that hurt, that raw feeling is unbelievably familiar. how hard it is, to talk about something so, so painful, something you grieve - how five years later, talking about roi still feels like an impossible mountain for temenos to climb. there was no fratricide, but sometimes he wonders if he could have stopped him, too.
he moves his hand off of the mika card, and just holds out it outwards towards hanako. welcoming. ]
...My wayward lamb.
[ his voice quiets a little, and he makes a small gesture. come a little closer. ]
no subject
no subject
his emotions are as calm as a placid lake as he comes closer, and he reaches out...
... and his hand falls on his head. gentle. right on top of his little head, a pat, and then a ruffle. if he's wearing his hat it's just right over his hat. the gesture is gentle, and he leans down, moving from where he's sitting to drop down and meet his eyes. ]
I am sure you know by now that no one can offer you forgiveness for such things, besides yourself. But at the same time, I wonder if living in eternal misery is what someone would want for you.
[ he doesn't specify someone, but it's there. hanako can fill in that blank. his brother. nimona. datz. mouse, ryuki, the people who love him and care for him no matter what.
death is the easy way out, in a normal place. but hanako clearly is facing that punishment, bit by eternal bit. but there are clearly people who care and love for him no matter what he's done, even if it's a lot of murderhands crimes here in oceanside city. who knows, if maybe that brother would feel any different. ]
no subject
It's his brother who he has in mind as that "someone," his precious baby brother who is his greatest love as well as his greatest regret. Sometimes it feels like his brother does all he can to make Hanako miserable; other times he's met with a tight hug, an affectionate nuzzle, the comforting knowledge that despite everything, he's still here.
His friends, his teacher, his teammates, they'd want him to be happy. He knows this. But how can he, when he destroyed the very thing that brought him happiness with his own hands. ]
I don't... [ think? no, he knows. ] I won't ever forgive myself for what I did.