[ He could stop, but he only does when Temenos does, stare boring holes in the back of his robes but fragile when he turns around, unable to meet his gaze.
His hands are clasped behind his back, knife held in them, but not so inconspicuously that Temenos wouldn't be able to see the blade poking out from the side.
...
He doesn't come any closer, still ten feet away. ]
[ alright. he notes the knife, but doesn't say anything about it, just turning around to look at him. there's no judgement on his ever placid expression, his good hand resting loosely on his staff, and if hanako won't look at him, that's fine, too.
he lets the silence fall for a moment, and then says, soft in tone, but unshakable. ]
[ and it's been the same in his life, too. the small, simple statement resonates, but he holds it to himself, just regarding him. there's nothing judgmental on his face, no anger or sorrow, and his voice is steady and calm. ]
You can be angry, and hate me. Want me dead, try to kill me, if you want to. But my feet did not carry me to that arena because I chose to be there. And the anger and grief that you feel would be well directed towards finding out what cause put Mika there in the first place, on Thursday.
Why was she awake, and the rest of us were knocked out? Who set her up? Who forced her to go through that trial? Who demanded the execution, instead of imprisonment, when every 'villain' we've heard of so far was simply thrown in prison?
These are the questions that need to be answered, and somewhere, there is a person who needs to answer for them.
[ He knows. He knows he knows he knows. It's what he's been saying to other people too, that the trial itself, finding the murderer, voting for someone, none of it really mattered because it was orchestrated. They should have spent the time figuring out the conductor. ]
I know.
[ He knows. Tenemos knows. That's why, when Hanako finally lifts his gaze, his eyes are bright ]
Because I feared what kind of end would be ordered for her when that timer ran out.
[ and how it might not have been what it was. a silly archery competition. a race that he lost. her smiles, bright as the sun, a few moments of laughter. a prayer. benediction.
[ Maybe nothing would have happened. Maybe they'd send somebody else down there to finish the job and the two of them could have overpowered them. Maybe the leaders would pull through, or any of the other heroes, or, or a miracle happens... ]
I have no right to say this, but... death feels like the easy way out.
What kind of spectacle would be made of someone was forced to be a villain, if their initial gambit failed? If the audience - of whom we don't even know - found our ending to be wrong, would it not be written worse?
[ it would have been cruelty, to draw it out any longer, let alone to whatever these higher forces might be planning. it's not his place to give judgment. it never is. ]
I don't disagree with you. It often is. [ ... ] I thought through every contingency plan I could, in the time and space we had. For every potential, there was a way to shut it down. And in the end, the only call I could make was the path of least suffering available.
There is no fair answer to any of this, no matter how much there ought to have been. It never should have been this way from the start.
[ If that's what the audience wants... He'd thought of that too. If he couldn't run in and save Mika, what if he were the one appointed to do the deed? If the two of them just sat there and did nothing, what would the audience think? If they execute somebody harmless— somebody innocent— what would they think?
would it matter?
would it have changed anything?
If they had a second chance. If they could do it again. ... ]
Temenos. In the people's eyes, you are a true "hero," who defeated the "villain." Maybe they would listen to you, if you say it was just an accident. An overreaction. They would listen to a hero, won't they? All eyes are on you, when you're up on that stage.
[ there's a pause, just brief, as he regards him. ]
...Do you really think they would?
[ the question is neutral - temenos is the sort of person that is hard to parse, sometimes, a truly neutral surface to engage in, like looking into a reflection in a pond. there's no hint to how he feels about the question.
... but in a sense, there's something else there. it's asking hanako to look at that question in genuineness, in truth. it's saying, if you think i can do something now, i'll do it: but do you really think anything i or anyone else said would have been enough?
He mouths the word, lest it becomes truth the moment it is voiced. To think it would work would be overly optimistic, naive, he would have have even given it a second thought if it were him back then. But even so...
[ now, finally, he takes a step closer, some of the set of his shoulders dropping. he is a child, and in this moment, it's especially clear, in that tiny voice, in the way he can't even form the word. it's so familiar: it's a bedside and a crying child, hands clasped together in prayer, desperately seeking and finding nothing.
what would roi do, right now? what would he say?
... ] In a different world, in a different situation... perhaps they might have.
[ and if that was the case, he would have taken that route. but the world is cruel, and the world is cold, and it in their current situation, it may yet be even colder.
his voice softens, the weight of the tragedy of this all in every word, now. ] If you truly believe there is something to be said in the aftermath, then I'll be glad to say it.
As it is now: what I would like to do is ensure that something that senseless does not go unanswered, or unpunished. And that is something that will require cleverness and doggedness - and a firm memory of what has been lost. I'd like it if it is something we could achieve together.
[ He believes it with all his heart that there's something to be said— the problem is finding somebody who will listen, who will care. ]
...I'd like that too. But you don't have a plan, do you?
[ He does. It's filled with bad ideas, things nobody else is going to agree with if he voiced it, and there's nobody else he can trust to carry it out besides himself. But it's a plan. It's a possibility that he can't let go of. Even if he's destroying everything he holds dear in the process. ]
I do, but it's not one that I think you'll like very much.
[ but maybe for the opposite reason. ]
It is a very slow plan, as these things so often tend to be. There is no identifying any sort of truth without laying groundwork: without understanding.
[ His mouth twists in a frown, because while he's not exactly impatient, he doesn't want to be here any longer than he has to. He has to go back and fix things. He needs to. ]
I'll do what I have to do. Even if I won't like it... I'll lend you my aid. Will you take it?
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His hands are clasped behind his back, knife held in them, but not so inconspicuously that Temenos wouldn't be able to see the blade poking out from the side.
...
He doesn't come any closer, still ten feet away. ]
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he lets the silence fall for a moment, and then says, soft in tone, but unshakable. ]
...It won't help. [ revenge. it never does.
a slight pause. ] I'm sorry, for your loss.
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I know it won't help. Death is the end... there's no bringing back somebody who has died.
[ but he's not doing this to bring Mika back, he's doing this because he's sad and he's angry and he's 13 ]
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[ and it's been the same in his life, too. the small, simple statement resonates, but he holds it to himself, just regarding him. there's nothing judgmental on his face, no anger or sorrow, and his voice is steady and calm. ]
You can be angry, and hate me. Want me dead, try to kill me, if you want to. But my feet did not carry me to that arena because I chose to be there. And the anger and grief that you feel would be well directed towards finding out what cause put Mika there in the first place, on Thursday.
Why was she awake, and the rest of us were knocked out? Who set her up? Who forced her to go through that trial? Who demanded the execution, instead of imprisonment, when every 'villain' we've heard of so far was simply thrown in prison?
These are the questions that need to be answered, and somewhere, there is a person who needs to answer for them.
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I know.
[ He knows. Tenemos knows. That's why, when Hanako finally lifts his gaze, his eyes are bright ]
So why did you play along...?
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[ and how it might not have been what it was. a silly archery competition. a race that he lost. her smiles, bright as the sun, a few moments of laughter. a prayer. benediction.
peace. ]
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[ Maybe nothing would have happened. Maybe they'd send somebody else down there to finish the job and the two of them could have overpowered them. Maybe the leaders would pull through, or any of the other heroes, or, or a miracle happens... ]
I have no right to say this, but... death feels like the easy way out.
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[ it would have been cruelty, to draw it out any longer, let alone to whatever these higher forces might be planning. it's not his place to give judgment. it never is. ]
I don't disagree with you. It often is. [ ... ] I thought through every contingency plan I could, in the time and space we had. For every potential, there was a way to shut it down. And in the end, the only call I could make was the path of least suffering available.
There is no fair answer to any of this, no matter how much there ought to have been. It never should have been this way from the start.
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would it matter?
would it have changed anything?
If they had a second chance. If they could do it again. ... ]
Temenos. In the people's eyes, you are a true "hero," who defeated the "villain." Maybe they would listen to you, if you say it was just an accident. An overreaction. They would listen to a hero, won't they? All eyes are on you, when you're up on that stage.
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...Do you really think they would?
[ the question is neutral - temenos is the sort of person that is hard to parse, sometimes, a truly neutral surface to engage in, like looking into a reflection in a pond. there's no hint to how he feels about the question.
... but in a sense, there's something else there. it's asking hanako to look at that question in genuineness, in truth. it's saying, if you think i can do something now, i'll do it: but do you really think anything i or anyone else said would have been enough?
every answer points to no. ]
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He mouths the word, lest it becomes truth the moment it is voiced. To think it would work would be overly optimistic, naive, he would have have even given it a second thought if it were him back then. But even so...
even so... ]
...Won't you at least try...?
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what would roi do, right now? what would he say?
... ] In a different world, in a different situation... perhaps they might have.
[ and if that was the case, he would have taken that route. but the world is cruel, and the world is cold, and it in their current situation, it may yet be even colder.
his voice softens, the weight of the tragedy of this all in every word, now. ] If you truly believe there is something to be said in the aftermath, then I'll be glad to say it.
As it is now: what I would like to do is ensure that something that senseless does not go unanswered, or unpunished. And that is something that will require cleverness and doggedness - and a firm memory of what has been lost. I'd like it if it is something we could achieve together.
no subject
...I'd like that too. But you don't have a plan, do you?
[ He does. It's filled with bad ideas, things nobody else is going to agree with if he voiced it, and there's nobody else he can trust to carry it out besides himself. But it's a plan. It's a possibility that he can't let go of. Even if he's destroying everything he holds dear in the process. ]
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[ but maybe for the opposite reason. ]
It is a very slow plan, as these things so often tend to be. There is no identifying any sort of truth without laying groundwork: without understanding.
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I'll do what I have to do. Even if I won't like it... I'll lend you my aid. Will you take it?