[ The little lilt at the end of his name the first time makes his shoulders tense, the actual question that follows causing them to slump as he breathes a shaky breath out from between his teeth.
But it's Jolyne, so he does his best to smile for her and wave at her from where he is in the park. Just sitting on a bench where he can feel the sunlight on the back of his neck and stare out into the water. ]
[ oh... buddy. she'll just have a seat with a bit of space between them there on the bench, glancing over at him with a soft tilt of her head. her eyes regard him with a quiet worry. ]
[ A lot, apparently, that even a concerned question like that makes him duck his head uncomfortably. He tries to pass it off, though, by bringing his knees to his chest and resting his cheek on his knees, so he can look at Jolyne without flinching. ]
I don't know. I've sort of been putting off thinking about it.
[ like the queasy feeling will just go away if he ignores it long enough ]
[ He can't think of very many times when it doesn't feel awful carrying something like this around, but he also can't think of very many times he's talked about anything, so he doesn't have a lot of comparisons he can make.
[ jolyne just listens quietly, her brow furrowed. she closes her eyes for a second, mostly because she needs to process it a little bit. it's not the easiest confession to make, right? she just gives a quiet nod, and then, not moving away, she tilts her head: ]
[ Again with the questions. If he could shrink into himself any more, he would. But he just lets the guilt roil in his stomach until he can breathe easily enough again to answer. ]
I cheated and— and that's why Rita died. Rita and everybody else. Her burns... they were my fault.
[ she nods quietly. there's no real sense of disappointment or anger from her, rather, jolyne just keeps steady, leaning on her hands against the seat and looking out towards the water. ]
It sounds like a pretty terrible place you went to... Hanako...
[ The laugh he chokes out is bitter, and maybe a little wet, but at least it forces him to lift his head and see Jolyne's hand. He takes it, holds it between both of his.
"the fuck kinda school" is a VERY good question, actually, ]
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But it's Jolyne, so he does his best to smile for her and wave at her from where he is in the park. Just sitting on a bench where he can feel the sunlight on the back of his neck and stare out into the water. ]
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What's on your mind?
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I don't know. I've sort of been putting off thinking about it.
[ like the queasy feeling will just go away if he ignores it long enough ]
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[ hanako... :sad_cat: ]
So I don't mind helping carry even a little. Wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone else, either.
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...
...
...
in the smallest of voices: ]
I killed Rita.
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I see... what happened, Hanako...?
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I cheated and— and that's why Rita died. Rita and everybody else. Her burns... they were my fault.
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It sounds like a pretty terrible place you went to... Hanako...
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It was high school. I've never even finished middle school! What was I supposed to do...?
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High school's pretty unforgiving, yeah...
[ though usually with less fire. probably? last time she checked. she offers her hand gently towards him. ]
But that sounds like way too big a punishment for cheating in school... [ the fuck kinda school hello???? ]
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[ The laugh he chokes out is bitter, and maybe a little wet, but at least it forces him to lift his head and see Jolyne's hand. He takes it, holds it between both of his.
"the fuck kinda school" is a VERY good question, actually, ]