[ At least he wasn't injured (he died) he wasn't INJURED but he thinks he'd rather come back like the other team missing eyes and limbs than have to go through what they did. It wasn't hard, he'd been okay through most of it, but still...
the guilt burrows into his heart and curls up like a hard black thing ]
It's just... watching people die. It being my fault they died. But they're not! They're fine. They're fine now, so... so...
[ so it's fine. he'll be fine. none of that was real, even though it felt it. ]
[she just wraps her arms around his shoulders and drapes, head on top of his.]
Yeah. [she's not going to lie she is a Little surprised that he feels bad about it, but. she supposes that she's not the only one that hides that sort of thing.] They're fine now, but.
Even fake stuff can mess you up. You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want, but just... I know. I know it can hurt.
[ I mean. if it was just the three of them dead he wouldn't have been so torn up about it, but it wasn't just them. even if it's fake!! especially when it's fake, because then you get stuck in an endless loop of "what if"s ]
...I never used to dream, you know? [ him being dead and not having to sleep ] I guess I'm just... I don't want to have to see it again, every time I close my eyes.
I don't think any of us have a choice. But Datz will be there with me. Reigen too. So... I'll do my best to sleep.
[ If nothing else, even if he does get nightmares despite being knocked unconscious after curfew, he'll know that there's people there he can count on to protect him. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
the guilt burrows into his heart and curls up like a hard black thing ]
It's just... watching people die. It being my fault they died. But they're not! They're fine. They're fine now, so... so...
[ so it's fine. he'll be fine. none of that was real, even though it felt it. ]
no subject
Yeah. [she's not going to lie she is a Little surprised that he feels bad about it, but. she supposes that she's not the only one that hides that sort of thing.] They're fine now, but.
Even fake stuff can mess you up. You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want, but just... I know. I know it can hurt.
no subject
[ I mean. if it was just the three of them dead he wouldn't have been so torn up about it, but it wasn't just them. even if it's fake!! especially when it's fake, because then you get stuck in an endless loop of "what if"s ]
...I never used to dream, you know? [ him being dead and not having to sleep ] I guess I'm just... I don't want to have to see it again, every time I close my eyes.
no subject
I get that. [man. she wishes she could be a cat right now.] I don't really have anything that I can tell you that'll help. I wish I did. M'sorry.
no subject
That's okay. I figure I'll just not sleep.
no subject
no subject
[ force himself to stay awake until he passes out! then his brain would be too tired to dream. it's a foolproof plan ]
no subject
You are determined to make me age. I am so old, Hanako. I am already so old.
no subject
[ he's alive (sort of)! he's fine. nothing to worry about. ]
no subject
[NOOGIES HIM]
no subject
no subject
when she's done bullying him, though, she huffs, and finally lets go of him.
...]
... I'm glad you're here.
no subject
[ He's glad he's here. He's glad Nimona's here.
He's glad he's alive, and that whatever happened back there, is fake and could never ever happen to them. ever. ]
no subject
[nudges him.]
Don't be awake tonight. Okay?
no subject
[ If nothing else, even if he does get nightmares despite being knocked unconscious after curfew, he'll know that there's people there he can count on to protect him. ]