[this conversation isn't about to get any less depressing, though, because she just. looks surprised by that question, like it's never even crossed her mind.]
I... don't know. [...] There's probably a reason I was born. But I've never really thought that I would get to be anything. Planning for the future felt... impossible.
... I sort of get that. Even though I had that dream, it's not like it was ever going to be a reality. Eventually, I couldn't see any sort of future— where I would be in a year, or a month, or a week.
[ Just living day by day, and it couldn't have even been called living. ]
I guess it worked out, though. I no longer have a future, after all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ He still wants to. He wants to with all his heart, every night he spends on the rooftops gazing up at the stars. But he can't.
... ]
What kind of dreams did you have, Saya? I want to hear about what you want to be!
no subject
[this conversation isn't about to get any less depressing, though, because she just. looks surprised by that question, like it's never even crossed her mind.]
I... don't know. [...] There's probably a reason I was born. But I've never really thought that I would get to be anything. Planning for the future felt... impossible.
no subject
[ Just living day by day, and it couldn't have even been called living. ]
I guess it worked out, though. I no longer have a future, after all.
no subject
[she sort of. bumps her shoulder with his? not quite sure what to say here, but...]
You don't think that can change...? You're still here.
no subject
Only the living have a future. Once I go back, I'll be dead. That's not going to change.
[ and he's not going to stay here just so he can be """alive""". he'd hate that ]
no subject
no subject
[ look at him: he's existed this long, has done this much, and it all still amounts to nothing. ]