[ Does he want one? ... He shouldn't have one, doesn't deserve one, not after he'd literally thrown it away. It's impossible for him, and so he'd never given it any thought.
But does he want one? ...
His free hand drops to his side, reaching into his pants pocket and carefully pulling out his rock: it's just a plain, ordinary rock, one that you could find anywhere. But he knows it's the same one as in the memory Nimona had seen, the one that had embodied all his hopes and dreams. ...
Does he want a future? His fingers close over the rock, holds it tight. ]
[she pulls back just a little bit, just enough to look at him, and then at the rock, and his fist, and she puts her hand on top of his hand. over that rock.
that's answer enough, to her.]
You can still have one. Nico keeps telling me that I can. [...] If there's a way to go with someone, maybe you should. You're alive right now. You could be alive somewhere else.
[this is like the second time she's heard this from someone she really cares about, so she has to suppress the urge to throw a tantrum, but. it's fine.]
Your brother? [she asks, watching him with her head tilted a little.]
Yeah. My younger twin brother, Tsukasa. You'll probably see him if you hang out around me long enough.
[ They're twins, so basically Tsukasa would look the same as he does, anyways. His little brother whom he hates and loves, wants to kill and wants to save. It's complicated. He hasn't even begun thinking of what he's supposed to do with him. ]
[ As if that explains everything. Hanako's the older brother, so of course he has to take responsibility. ]
It never really came up. But he's the reason why I... —!?
[ It's only a blip of a memory that gets a chance to show up this time, before Hanako slices it in half with his knife. He knows what came right after that, and he doesn't- can't- reexperience it again. ]
[she startles slightly when he slices at the panel, but. it's not like she blames him. if she hadn't gone nearly catatonic watching her tragic backstory play out in front of her for the fifth time today earlier she might have run.]
[ Hate that Tsukasa is super cute sometimes despite his everything, and Hanako keeps slicing the panels in half before any more of the scene can play out. And it hurts every time he does it, knuckles white, jaw set, as if Nimona can't also feel the guilt he has in his heart for his brother, the fear, the disgust, the sorrow, the love. ]
...nothing. He did nothing wrong.
[ Tsukasa did SO many things wrong, but it's not his fault. Hanako is the reason he's like that. ]
[ out of cyoa hell and straight into death day hell
He can feel his heart squeeze when Nimona destroys the last panel, and wonders how much worse it will be when he has to do it himself, the inevitable. But he's been avoiding it for this long, and it's not like he can do anything about it here, so he slowly unclenches his fists— he hadn't realized he'd been squeezing Nimona's hand so tightly— and forces himself to breathe out.
... ]
...It's just family drama. Something for me alone to deal with.
[ it's a small mmhm, the kind that silently pleads her not to press for more, because that'll lead into a rabbit hole of how his brother became a ghost and why he did what he did, but I don't have concrete canon for that yet so he's going to swerve and change the subject. ]
You were really little, before. Could you choose what age you look like?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Do you want one? A future.
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But does he want one? ...
His free hand drops to his side, reaching into his pants pocket and carefully pulling out his rock: it's just a plain, ordinary rock, one that you could find anywhere. But he knows it's the same one as in the memory Nimona had seen, the one that had embodied all his hopes and dreams. ...
Does he want a future? His fingers close over the rock, holds it tight. ]
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that's answer enough, to her.]
You can still have one. Nico keeps telling me that I can. [...] If there's a way to go with someone, maybe you should. You're alive right now. You could be alive somewhere else.
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I... can't.
[ Shouldn't. Can't. He wants to, but the more he thinks about it, the more he'll want to- and he can't. ]
I need to go back to where I came from. There's somebody I need to keep safe. And I still need to... [ ... ] I need to deal with my brother.
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Your brother? [she asks, watching him with her head tilted a little.]
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Yeah. My younger twin brother, Tsukasa. You'll probably see him if you hang out around me long enough.
[ They're twins, so basically Tsukasa would look the same as he does, anyways. His little brother whom he hates and loves, wants to kill and wants to save. It's complicated. He hasn't even begun thinking of what he's supposed to do with him. ]
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Why do you need to deal with him? [what did he do...] I don't think I knew you had a twin.
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[ As if that explains everything. Hanako's the older brother, so of course he has to take responsibility. ]
It never really came up. But he's the reason why I... —!?
[ It's only a blip of a memory that gets a chance to show up this time, before Hanako slices it in half with his knife. He knows what came right after that, and he doesn't- can't- reexperience it again. ]
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... What did he do?
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...nothing. He did nothing wrong.
[ Tsukasa did SO many things wrong, but it's not his fault. Hanako is the reason he's like that. ]
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she doesn't seem to blame him for just - cutting the frames over and over. she won't stop him, holding his hand tightly still if he lets her.
and when the last one comes up, she punches it, helping him get rid of it.]
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He can feel his heart squeeze when Nimona destroys the last panel, and wonders how much worse it will be when he has to do it himself, the inevitable. But he's been avoiding it for this long, and it's not like he can do anything about it here, so he slowly unclenches his fists— he hadn't realized he'd been squeezing Nimona's hand so tightly— and forces himself to breathe out.
... ]
...It's just family drama. Something for me alone to deal with.
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he can squeeze her hand as much as he wants.]
I haven't had family drama in like a thousand years, so I don't know that I'd give good advice anyway.
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[ family drama the day you were born?? ]
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Yeah. Like if you want me to be really specific I guess it was like nine hundred and four years ago or something like that. I forgot.
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That's still such a long time. I don't think any family can be peaceful for that long.
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[ mom? dad? cute little evil twin brother? ]
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I think. I don't really remember.
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That's alright. I haven't thought about my parents in a long time either.
[ a measly 50 years for him, but still ]
Besides my brother, I don't have anybody else. That's probably why I'm so scared to lose him again.
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she hums.]
... You don't have anybody at all? [a beat.] Is he also a ghost?
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[ it's a small mmhm, the kind that silently pleads her not to press for more, because that'll lead into a rabbit hole of how his brother became a ghost and why he did what he did, but I don't have concrete canon for that yet so he's going to swerve and change the subject. ]
You were really little, before. Could you choose what age you look like?
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I can where I come from. I've never really tried here. [asks the mods if she can because i desperately want her to be baby]
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You can choose what you look like, then? You had these... really fat ankles?
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also rude she just gives him a LOOK]
Okay, well, don't be a dick about it.
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