... No, but. [...] I didn't want it to be either of you. So I didn't vote at all.
[because that love is reflected back at him. so - there isn't really a way that she could've been okay with how she'd feel if she'd contributed to their deaths. hanako, because he's important to her, and will, because he's important to nico.] I didn't want Nico to have to kill Will, either.
[ yes, that's what she just said! but he's just so "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DIDN'T HAVE TO VOTE" every week he voted for the murderer and every week he was all "they died because of me ):" ]
I think someone did have to every Thursday or something bad would happen? I don't know I couldn't read half the dumb moon notes that people were getting.
I thought was supposed to keep something open? Let me...
[ digs out his phone, where is that note? ]
"One death each week is enough to keep the door open. Kill, or lose everything any of them have cared about." So even if we beat the moon, doesn't that mean we're still stuck here?
Nobody is mad yet. [she's just waiting for them to be, because that's kind of how her life goes. she makes friends, and then they eventually realize she's not worth it and they throw her away.]
[ He frowns like he doesn't believe her, like she's trying to protect somebody by not naming names, but also because Nimona isn't responsible for him- she shouldn't have to bear the consequences of his actions, and whoever thinks otherwise is stupid and should die and he volunteers to stab them ]
If they're going to be mad at anybody, it should be at me.
[ which. he thinks probably a lot of people are, even if they don't say it to his face. The people he killed had friends, teammates, people who cared about them and would resent Hanako regardless of reason or intention. It's like what happened with Adlet and Whisper, and the reminder makes his guts twist. ]
...if somebody hurts you to hurt me, I would never forgive them.
They're not going to hurt me. I'm not some defenseless maiden, Hanako. I can take care of myself.
[she says, firmly. she taps the side of his face with her fingers. there's this little - twist of her emotions, of something soft, because she has had so very little of people caring about her in her very long life, and even if hanako's way of showing it is skewed, it still means something to her.
but still.]
I'm not worried about my safety or whatever. You're my friend and I love you, and there are other people I love too, and it's - you can't make me stand in the middle and pick.
So work with me instead of against me. I'm not abandoning you.
[ He's sulky, but this is all new for him too. It wasn't too long before he came to this place that he made his first friend, and he enjoyed showing off by coming to the aid of the defenseless maiden. Here, it makes him uneasy, knowing people can take care of themselves— they don't need him protecting them, they don't need him to grant their wishes- and so what good is he? If Nimona had to pick, there are better friends out there than him, and he knows this.
[she feels that uneasiness, and it makes her lean forward and just whack her forehead against his. not hard enough to knock him out or anything, it's like. cat bunting.]
Quit that. [no uneasiness!!] Whatever you're thinking that's making you upset. Knock it off.
[ he can't help it, the number of friends he has he can count on one hand with missing fingers and he's possessive— but the forehead bump at least distracts him, pulls him back to the present instead of dwelling on how much of the bridge he's set on fire already.
Nimona hasn't abandoned him YET. that's all that matters. ]
I was just thinking... [ ... no, he shuts up and takes the opportunity to hug Nimona instead ] ...never mind. It's not important.
[ he doesn't want to... it's the thought that saying something out loud gives it power and makes it real, and he doesn't think he can bear having it happen again ]
Just... what if one day... I do something unforgiveable. And you don't want to be friends anymore.
I'm not gonna leave you, but that doesn't give you free reign to fuck me over, man. So you gotta think about what I want too, not just what you think is gonna be best.
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... No, but. [...] I didn't want it to be either of you. So I didn't vote at all.
[because that love is reflected back at him. so - there isn't really a way that she could've been okay with how she'd feel if she'd contributed to their deaths. hanako, because he's important to her, and will, because he's important to nico.] I didn't want Nico to have to kill Will, either.
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Was not voting an option?
[ DID THEY NOT HAVE TO CONVICT ANYBODY ]
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[something did happen she just isn't aware laughs]
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We didn't have to vote!!
[ yes, that's what she just said! but he's just so "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DIDN'T HAVE TO VOTE" every week he voted for the murderer and every week he was all "they died because of me ):" ]
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It probably wouldn't have worked if we all didn't.
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Why not? That's like saying nobody had to kill on Thursdays.
[ were people compelled to do it? he doesn't know, he did it for funsies ]
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It doesn't matter now, it happened.
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... What about this Thursday?
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[which, good]
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[ digs out his phone, where is that note? ]
"One death each week is enough to keep the door open. Kill, or lose everything any of them have cared about." So even if we beat the moon, doesn't that mean we're still stuck here?
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Not if we steal its power, I guess? That's the whole rock eating thing, I thought. I don't know, you should ask Datz or something.
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[ BIG SIGH. Datz would want to do it himself, even though he knows Hanako is perfectly capable of a little murder or four. ]
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[takes his face in her hands]
No more killing people while you're here. You're going to get me in trouble and it's not the fun kind of trouble.
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[ tell him. he'll kill them. ]
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None of your business.
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It is my business, when somebody's giving you trouble because of me!
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If they're going to be mad at anybody, it should be at me.
[ which. he thinks probably a lot of people are, even if they don't say it to his face. The people he killed had friends, teammates, people who cared about them and would resent Hanako regardless of reason or intention. It's like what happened with Adlet and Whisper, and the reminder makes his guts twist. ]
...if somebody hurts you to hurt me, I would never forgive them.
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[she says, firmly. she taps the side of his face with her fingers. there's this little - twist of her emotions, of something soft, because she has had so very little of people caring about her in her very long life, and even if hanako's way of showing it is skewed, it still means something to her.
but still.]
I'm not worried about my safety or whatever. You're my friend and I love you, and there are other people I love too, and it's - you can't make me stand in the middle and pick.
So work with me instead of against me. I'm not abandoning you.
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[ He's sulky, but this is all new for him too. It wasn't too long before he came to this place that he made his first friend, and he enjoyed showing off by coming to the aid of the defenseless maiden. Here, it makes him uneasy, knowing people can take care of themselves— they don't need him protecting them, they don't need him to grant their wishes- and so what good is he? If Nimona had to pick, there are better friends out there than him, and he knows this.
The thought only makes the uneasiness grow. ]
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Quit that. [no uneasiness!!] Whatever you're thinking that's making you upset. Knock it off.
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Nimona hasn't abandoned him YET. that's all that matters. ]
I was just thinking... [ ... no, he shuts up and takes the opportunity to hug Nimona instead ] ...never mind. It's not important.
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It is. Tell me. [she wants to hear, almost nudging him emotionally, curious and concerned.]
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Just... what if one day... I do something unforgiveable. And you don't want to be friends anymore.
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[she tells him, but she doesn't let go.]
I'm not gonna leave you, but that doesn't give you free reign to fuck me over, man. So you gotta think about what I want too, not just what you think is gonna be best.
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